Go forth and blog....

Maybe the sky can fall......

2008-07-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's been a long time since I posted. I've had some ideas but never made it to the computer to post. I'll get to those sometime, but today I need to say something about this STUPID bailout of Fannie and Freddie. So hear goes....

AMERICA!! WHAT THE H*E*L*L ARE YOU THINKING!!!?? I have no idea! Why are we bailing out Freddie and Fannie? WHY!!??? I love my house, but I don't really like paying my mortgage. That means I sure as heck don't want to pay somebody else's!!!! I just don't understand! I'll agree its traumatic to lose your house- a crisis even, but it's survivable. It's not starvation. Its not a heart attack. It's not cancer. It's not a war. It's not any of those things. Why is anyone entitled to a house at someone else's expense? Why?

They say this is going to cost about 300 billion dollars. Many economists think it's closer to a trillion- a TRILLION dollars we don't have! For what?- to keep companies that made stupid loans- predatory loans- loans that were downright unethical to people that couldn't afford them. Ok, I'll say it- to stupid people that bought houses they can't afford with loans they didn't understand and now- you and I and our children and grandchildren are suppose to pay for them! Need I remind everyone America is a CAPITALIST society- not socialist. I want to live in a capitalist society. That's why I'm still here. Not that I'm not without empathy- if this was a bailout of starving people or finding a cure for cancer or even alternate energy then I might feel differently, but I'm not paying for some else's lifestyle. Folks, this is a lot of money for people to stay in their house and for poorly run companies to stay in business- I think that is RIDICULOUS! Get an apartment and let the companies decide their own fate. Oh and for those of you that don't own but rent- you're paying for a house too- one you pay for in taxes, not one you deduct from your taxes. If the banks were so worried by this why didn't/can't they restructure the loans to keep them, from going into foreclosure? If you ask me, they don't need a bailout- they need a good MBA class on management and finance.

Additionally, here is the long term consequences. We don't have 300 billion dollars. We don't have a trillion dollars and we've more than maxed out our credit. So America, get use to the idea- your dollar is about to be worth a whole lot less. Next time you go to buy that 'made in China' or 'made in Canada', yes Canada! item it's going to take more of your paycheck because the dollar won't be worth anything. So now you aren't only paying for the houses of the stupid people and their stupid banks, but you are paying more for other things because our credit crisis has so deflated the dollar that you can't buy anything with it. Oh yes, this is going to be a recession for the record books. They say that most recessions have a 30% decrease in the market. My thought is that is just going to be the first inning. Who's going to buy into a market that is going down with a de-valued currency? Even getting down to the bone marrow won't be deep enough to solve this mess.

So, you might ask what I'm going to do about it? Well I'm putting my vote where my mouth is. I am voting OUT every single person on the ballot that voted for this or supported it and I am only voting for people that opposed it. Clear and simple- here is what I'm saying- I'm not buying someone else's house. I'm not saving a stupid bank and I'm not giving anyone a job that isn't smart enough to figure this out. So this is it- my hill to die on, my line in the sand, my litmus test and for those of you that know me well- yes this means I'm not voting for who I said I was going to all along. If you feel the same way, please consider taking the same action.

The 10:25am showing......

2007-12-29T12:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a special movie comes along bearing gifts- characters you fall in love, places you escape too or dreams you share in. I guess that is part of the magic of Hollywood. Sometimes though, Hollywood captures the amazing human spirit. Just sometimes, Hollywood rewards those that have changed the world, that have etched their mark on history and then returned to walk among us.

I wasn't thinking of any of that when I went to see 'The Great Debaters.' Denzel Washington never makes a bad movie and I was looking forward to enjoying the big screen over holiday break.

As I was walking into the theatre, I notice an elderly women walking with a cane. She was being escorted by a much younger relative or friend. I held the door for them, but did not notice what movie they were going to see. I bought my ticket, my popcorn and my soda and went to the theatre, waiting for my friend to join me.

If you haven't seen 'The Great Debaters', please go. I think tears were in my eyes from the first few minutes and while my tears would swell throughout the movie, they would never run dry. It is just an amazing movie, one of importance to all citizens of the world.

Afterwards my friend and I sat and discussed how far we had come and how much we had left to do in the quest of equal rights. We talked of people's perceptions and where comfort zones would begin and end. How quickly or slowly change comes and the hope that is brought on by new generations. We talked until we felt the stare of the usher wanting to clear the theatre.

As usual, we had to stop in the ladies room before leaving. As I went to wash my hands, I once again saw the elderly lady with a cane and her younger companion. There were tears in their eyes. I guessed they must have seen the same movie as we did and it must have deeply touched them, I thought. While we walked out with them, the older women began telling us her sister died two years ago and she wished that she had lived long enough to have seen this movie. The younger lady left to get the car and we waited inside with the women with the cane. It wasn't that she needed our help, she was 91 and still drove and took care of herself she said convincingly. She was active and fine she informed us. What kept us standing there glued to the cement was her story. She was in high school in 1935 when the film takes place. Her sister was in college- at Wiley, the school portrayed in the movie. Her sister was a member of the debate team, although not the team of the movie that debated the national champions. Her sister remained at Wiley teaching history. Those characters in the movie were her friends. She had known them all. Their reality of living in the Jim Crow south were her realities. It wasn't a long conversation as her niece quickly brought the car around and she left. In such a short time you could tell her pride in the story told. She talked of the troubles Denzel Washington had getting backing for the movie. She said he had to put himself in front of the camera, contrary to his original plan to simply direct, just to gain sponsorship. She talked of how much he cared about the project, speaking with her several times and even asking her for a copy of her sister's obituary. The movie was rerun of a small part of her history.

As I walked to my car I could hardly keep the tears from flowing. The life she has lived, the changes she has seen, the oppression that she has lived through. I was just overwhelmed to have been privileged enough to spend a few minutes with her in the lobby of a movie theatre. To have had a glimpse of her life so fresh in mind while she beamed w/ such pride and gratitude over Mr. Washington's work. It was an incredible feeling.

Years from now when I remember this holiday season, I doubt I will remember the presents under the tree or the snow that just kept coming or my calls to the city to have the subdivision plowed. I am certain though, that I will never forget the few moments spent in that theatre lobby and grey haired lady with the clear, plastic cane and the emotion felt of a time I never knew and a story that she does not forget.

From a friend....

2007-11-20T16:44:00.000-08:00

Along the lines of my previous post- this was sent to me. I thought it was so touching I just had to share.....

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, with out patience or loss they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disilllusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have beed tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard, I have learned compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother. (author unknown.)

It's what you say......

2007-11-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

Recently I've had a foray into the world of ART or Assisted Reproduction Technology. Many have prompted me to blog about my experiences. While I'm not ready to do that, I do want to share some things I've learned, mistakes I've made. I was advised that this may make people feel bad. Please, none of this is about what's been directed at me- it's about what I've learned dealing with others. So while you may take it heart, do not take it personally .......

To begin with, you don't know who is trying to conceive and having problems and who isn't. I've learned to not ask about children in someone's future. If they are having problems this is painful to them. They often don't want to talk about it and each time they are asked it brings to the surface already raw emotions.

ART of any kind- IUI, GIFT, ZIFT, IVF is not easy. Those who have not gone thru it cannot imagine what it's like- physically, emotionally, mentally. Don't pretend you understand cause you just can't unless you've been there and been there and been there- the best you can do is listen, sympathize and pray.

You can't solve ART problems. Certified specialists often can't solve ART, lay persons don't have a chance in this arena. Suggesting other solutions like adoption, or lifestyle changes such as 'relax- it will happen' are futile at best and wounding at most. If they wanted to adopt they would be pursuing adoption. Down the road they may decide it's an option, but that's not the space they are in right now. Telling them something that may seem re-assuring such as 'relax, it will happen,' says to then that this is their fault because they aren't relaxed enough, or are too stressed or something in their behavior is preventing them from getting pregnant. This is not reassuring to them at all.

Getting 2 lines on an hpt doesn't mean they will deliver a baby. Getting a heartbeat on ultrasound doesn't mean they will deliver a baby. Getting a clear CVS or Amnio doesn't mean they will deliver a baby. Bear with them if they aren't excited about a positive hpt or a good ultrasound- they may have been here before with a bad outcome. Any lack of screaming from the rooftops is probably just a defense mechanism against the heartbreak of it not working out.

ART is hard on the body, often times involving over 50 injections of high powered hormones over a 10 day period. ART is hard on the heart being such a roller coaster of emotions- hope, despair, joy, and heartbreak. ART is hard on relationships/marriages. ART is hard on the mind which becomes foggy from the meds and begins to doubt ones worth when the rest of the world does something so easily and you cannot. ART is hard on the wallet with individual tries costing up to $20,000+. Yes that is four zeros. Those going thru ART may have incurred incredible debt and may or may not have achieved their dream and may never achieve their dream.

So what I have learned about ART- it is not for the faint of heart nor faint of spirit. I was advised to end on a more upbeat note, but for many trying to conceive there isn't one. So, these are my mistakes, God willing and the creeks don't rise, I won't make them again.....

Pssst- I have a secret.....

2007-10-31T14:12:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I had a secret
It wasn't a very big one
I didn't ask anyone to keep it
But none the less, I had a secret

Now my secret is out
Lots of people know
It isn't anything to shout
At least not yet til more is known about

So my secret isn't a secret anymore
Not that I care
But what if the boat never comes to shore
Then will I have to talk about my secret some more

Kermit.. come get your friends!

2007-09-11T14:30:00.001-07:00

This is my simple mailbox...

and these are the frogs that insist on living in it....

!!!.............WHY?? !!!!!

Lately......

2007-08-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

I know there has been a lapse in my blogging lately- no good excuse, or a lousy one for that matter, comes to mind. My sister has been trying to get me to write on the animal cruelty going on with celebrities. I think that is so obvious, it's hardly worth mentioning- love your animals or don't have them. Besides, too much reflection on it and I just get sad.

For weeks I was mesmerized by the trapped miners. I just don't understand how in the year 2007 with all our technology we can't tell where they are or if they are alive or dead. I get GPS doesn't work thru a mountain, but surely we have the ability to amplify the signal throughout the mine, or at the very least, we could have dropped a locator device thru that first hole to pick up their signal had they been wearing proper devices? And what the hell are we doing still being dependent upon coal anyways? To those probably deceased miners and their families- you have been in my thoughts and prayers.

Ok, enough of the depressing stuff. I have some questions.

Have you ever noticed how the drive thru lines at fast food restaurants get longer when the college kids go back to school? It gets better so they must find non-college-kid help, but then next year the same thing happens. Do they fire the regular help to get the college-kid help? Why is this a cyclical thing?

I water my lawn so I currently have the only green lawn on the cul-de-sac. I know- waste of a resource, water is precious, etc. I'm an avid recycler, but on this I'm splurging. This week the Scott's guy fertilized and put down broadleaf control on my lawn on accident- instead of doing my neighbor's dead, brown yard, which they pay approx. $50 for the treatment. If these Scott's guys are so bright- who in their right mind fertilizes a yard in the middle of a 20 day, 100 degree heat wave? !!!!! I was not happy. The only saving grace is the broadleaf control hasn't dented my weeds, so I'm guessing their fertilizer isn't all that effective either?

I use to have a frog in my mailbox. I'd remove him and he'd keep showing back up- or at least a very good look-alike would. The other day I had 3. Why would a frog or frogs prefer to live in my plastic, black mailbox rather than my beautiful, regularly watered, great garden?

I recently read in a magazine where earthworms were not indigenous to North America and were brought over by the European settlers. Apparently the forests use to be filled with leaves, fallen branches, etc. until the introduction of the earthworm. It also said that an earthworm would spend it's entire life in one back yard. I'm having trouble figuring out how they spread all over North America and managed to clean up all the forests in a few hundred years. How prolific can an earthworm be?

The most sacred line....

2007-07-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

We all have lines in our lives- the yellow and white lines on the road, the lines of morality we won't cross, the lines at the check- out, etc..... and we have property lines. I heard once that all wars were fought over the lines that made up the boundaries of countries. Perhaps, I don't know if Iraq was started for that reason, but lines have become a big problem over there, as many think the only solution is to make one country three. But, back to property lines....

In every home I've owned the property line seems to keep coming up. Once cause there was a gentleman's agreement that was never recorded, so the property line actually went right thru a structure on the property. Then a neighbor wanted to build on to his garage and wanted to buy a chunk my property for pennies, so he could make his addition larger. It would have greatly decreased the value of my property- significantly more than what he was offering, but he didn't really see the problem. Now, in this house, it's kind of a neighborhood issue.

My neighbors are all great except one. This particular neighbor doesn't take care of his yard, has loud parties on his deck all the time and often the teenage kids have louder, wilder parties. While for me, since an area of trees for the most part screens his property, the noise is more of an issue than the disheveled lawn, none the less, his trash is sometimes visible thru the foliage. Apparently neighbors more in view of his yard have asked him to clean things up, but he takes a bully stance of it's his property and he'll do what he pleases. I guess the same applies to underage drinking on his deck? but that's a whole other post.

Now I purposely chose a neighborhood that doesn't have a home owner's association for reasons that I like to make changes to my landscaping without someone telling me or approving where I can put a tree. I don't mind cars in the driveway or street. It seems strange to me that we are willing to give up some of our freedom for a view free of cars? But I have also seen situations where homeowners associations help. I recently attended a garden tour where this amazing garden and landscaping was next to a house with 6ft tall weeds. We joked with the landscaped home owner's about their neighbors and he just shook his head. Wouldn't you be embarrassed if there was a garden tour next door and your property looked abandoned, at least as far as the yard goes?

I guess I've decided little evokes such emotion as a property line. I once knew someone who buried an invisible fence for their dog. The neighbor decided the buried, unseen fence was 2 inches on his property and dug it up and threw it back the other yard. Does 2 inches really make a difference? I guess if your neighbor gets 2 inches more, you have 2 inches less? That's important because? Does it matter if you mow 2 feet into your neighbors lawn or visa verse? What is it about 'that's my blade of grass' that drives us long standing feuds and ruined relationships? Doesn't it just seem strange that having descended from nomads, we have evolved to obsess over where a property line exists down to the inch?

No answers, but I know this- have a neighbor you want to annoy??- claim 6 inches of land over where they think the property line is and 99% of the time- they will be annoyed with you :)

PJ says it best.....

2007-06-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

“Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It’s not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It’s not an endlessly expanding list of rights--the ‘right’ to education, the ‘right’ to health care, the ‘right’ to food and housing. That’s not freedom, that’s dependency. Those aren’t rights; those are the rations of slavery--hay and a barn for human cattle. There’s only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.” - PJ O'Rourke

Lately the topic of National healthcare keeps coming up. Partly in the debates, or at least the democratic debates, maybe some because of Michael Moore's new film 'Sicko", which I haven't seen yet, and maybe because someone just got a doctor bill in the mail. I just can't believe how many people have an opinion on a topic they've given less than a split second thought too. Yeah, I should get to go to the doctor for free- sounds good, ok I agree. I remembered the above quote by PJ and I thought nothing sums it up better. We aren't ENTITLED to anything really. Maybe there was a hint at life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but no, certainly not healthcare.

Are we more entitled to healthcare than we are to food? You can't be hungry, have no money to feed your family and walk into HyVee and demand food. You can't and to my knowledge no one does and no one expects too. Yet, if you are in critical condition you can demand treatment from any hospital there is and if you aren't critical you can go to Truman or Cabot or Swope or, or, or.... you might be able to starve to death in this country, but for the most part, you aren't going to be in a serious car accident without someone trying to save your life. Someone replied today, 'yes, but you can feed a family with a can of beans.' True, but they aren't entitled, guaranteed or promised a can of beans are they?

I'm not naive- I know that if you are uninsured you have fewer choices. I get it- the system isn't equal for all. Our system is definitely not perfect- far from it. Recently I had a bill from a doctor for $6500. Insurance discounted it to somewhere around $989. Now, if the physician can do it for me for a total payment of $989 he should be able to do it for everyone for the same. But don't get the issues confused- that's fixing the system. That is not free healthcare.

As I said, I haven't seen Moore's film, but my understanding is no one in Britain has any complaints. I know a couple people in England. They tell me if you have a cold it takes 4 weeks to get an appointment or you have to go the ER. Would America be happy with that? What about end-of-life issues? or elective surgery? If you are poor your prognosis or access may be less. If you are wealthy or well covered, your options and chances are better. But, if healthcare was nationalized- there may be no options. One size fits all and well, sorry- it doesn't make sense to save your life from cancer when you are 70. Just not the right thing to do for society as a whole....

I think we need to take care of each other- out of a sense of duty, not entitlement. If someone is sick in this country, we should care enough and be grateful enough for what we have that we want to give to the less fortunate, but that's not entitlement- its charity. If someone is hungry we should share our food with them, but that's not entitlement- its compassion- its humanity- its Christianity-it's alot of things, but not entitlement. We are country built on choices and the solution isn't one choice for all. It's not the country's job to keep you healthy- it's yours. You might be fortunate enough to live in a country that cares enough to take care of you, but it's not a right and it's not an entitlement.

So I agree, complain about the cost of healthcare. By all means it can and should be done better, but as O'Rourke says, "If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free."

My fossil says it's wrong.....

2007-06-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

Over 20 years ago, I received a gift from a teacher that I still hold very dear. It was a book, not a new book, actually one with the copyright date of 1967. He attached a wonderful note that said he could no longer find the book in print, but wanted me to have his copy- hoping I would find the amazement and relevance that he did. The book was the The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris.

Come to find out the book was in our school library as well, but kept out of sight, behind the desk. The topic not for the general student body. Don't ask me how you got to check out one of those books behind the desk. I can't remember- if I ever knew at all.

As you may have guessed it is a book on evolution. The book still sits on my desk. It is tattered and fragile as it is nearing the half century mark. It's a reminder of one of those teachers that inspires the best in us. A teacher that understood a curiosity of the world that stretched beyond the curriculum. It also serves as a reminder of where we came from, that we are evolving creatures. The back cover reads, "Man is a creature who can write immortal poetry, raise giant cities, aim for the stars, build an atomic bomb-but he is also an animal.."

Next in close proximity on my desk to my treasured book, is a fossil. It is likely from Morocco and has 3 ammonites and one orthoceras. While ammonite fossils can range from 400 million to 65 million years old and ortheceras from 550-150 million years old, mine is estimated at between 345-360 million years old. I never connected the two items in their testament to the chronology of the planet until now.

Recent debates have brought up the creationism/evolution debate. My fossil says the creationists are, well, wrong. Let's just clear this up- the earth is not only 6,000 years old, and God didn't just plop us down here as we are today. To say that the universe was created without a divine plan is like saying the Webster's dictionary came from an explosion in the a printing factory- at least that's my opinion or I should say, my theology. So if there is a God, don't you think that he would want us to understand and marvel at his plan? Aren't those who don't give him proper credit in acknowledging all that he created- all that became extinct million of years ago and all that exists today- robbing him of a testament to his glory? It is wonderful to believe that the miracle of creation came from the hand of God, but make no mistake about it- that is theology, not science. Science is the observation and integration of the laws and events of the universe that can be witnessed, measured, extrapolated and dissected. To put God in this category is reductionism. I argue to pay homage to His laws and the path of His creation is wonderful, to discount them in the name of doctrine is heresy.

This is a hot topic in the heartland and I have found several interesting t-shirts and bumper stickers. I thought I would share a few of them with you -with a note of caution- my selection is biased to my view :)

-Galapagos Islands
-Evolution, How can 100 bazillion antibiotic-resit ant bacteria be wrong?
-Evolution is only a theory, just like, um, gravity
-6000 years ago, God made the earth exactly like it is now: flat and in the center of the solar system
-I went to public school in Kansas and all I got was a poor understanding of the scientific method.
-Darwin is my homeboy
-My ancestors survived the end-Cretaceous Extinction and all I got was this lousy shirt!!
-We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by it's coattails and burning our best minds at the stake.

and my personal favorite-

-Kansas: racing Utah into the 19th Century

The Butterfly, the Pacifist

2007-06-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

It was a truly beautiful weekend. Splendid weather after a good drink from above. I spent most of my free time in the garden. I must admit I was a little sad at first, as the bunnies have eaten almost all of my rose buds and many of my other perennials down by almost half. After fretting about what I was going to lose from the late freeze, finally things were coming in only be part of fine rabbit salad bar. I took to the internet to find solutions for the bunny problems. It was there I found the other side of the coin- you are suppose to pinch your phlox early to prevent having to stake it later on. I missed it, but the bunnies didn't. The took total care of that for me.

So there, with renewed energy and enthusiasm, back to the garden I went- taking my dismay and replacing it with a little gratitude. It was in the sunlight, while tending to the rabbit pinched phlox I saw the butterflies. Not that I haven't seen them before, but today I got it. That the one being on earth that is always seemingly at peace, is the butterfly. I am so careful w/ my birds. I stand motionless for minute upon minute as to not startle them. With the butterflies, they are glad you are there. Move as you must, they continue to float about you as if to say, 'come dance with me.' Sometimes they even land on you, bridging the world of the terrestrial with that of the fancy free.

What a life they have had! Being born with many feet, almost glued to the earth. Then a long sleep to awaken in gorgeous silken garb, able to defy gravity. They have grown thru an almost spiritual evolution, and stop by to show us a glimpse at what truly living in the moment, un-fettered by the laws of physics, may be like.

Their lives are short, but they don't seem to notice or care. They embrace the moment. They stop at the flowers, pay no mind to the wind and soak up the sun. Oh to have the freedom of the butterfly. To have the peace to be fearless in a world that hasn't really earned trust.

They fly and flit, play and dance with each other. They ask nothing in return. I guess you could say I garden for them, but I don't. I garden for me. Maybe they know and maybe they don't. Either way, they don't hold me to it, or hold it against me. They stop by to check the progress, maybe pollinate a few black eyed Susans- and move on.

So, to the butterflies of the world- thank you! Thank you for sharing your splendor and your peace. Showing us what's it's like to live in the moment and appreciate the little things. Maybe they were the first to stop and smell the roses. Tomorrow I'm adding a butterfly watering hole- a little for me as they are blown glass and beautiful, but more for them, should they need a drink on their carefree journey :)

Can somebody please make sense of this.......

2007-05-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

What happened today!!!??? Lindsy Lohan needs rehab, Miss America fell down on stage and Rosie is gone early from The View. Are you kidding me??

Here's what happened today America

-Equality for women was set back decades by a Supreme Court that is all, well all but for one- male. Justice Ginsburg has urged Congress to correct the ruling by passing a new discrimination law. Seriously- this Congress? The one that heard America's request for change on the war in Iraq and sent the President a message with a bill on funding for the war with a withdrawl timeline. Oh yes, but then quickly turned tail and for all purposes dropped the issue all together and passed a funding bill with no further mention of the will of the people. Today, if your a women - today is the day to start to be afraid, very afraid of your ability to provide for your family. One more erosion to our civil liberties.

-Bush finally calls the slaughter in Darfur genocide. Yeah, four years, 200,000 deaths and 2.5 million refugees later, Bush calls it as he sees it. Great- what took so frickin long W? Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for any attention the US pays to this atrocity, but lives are being trampled and destroyed every minute over there. Maybe we could have started the name calling, oh 3 1/2 years ago??!!!!

-Miss America didn't just slip on stage- she was booed during the interview process. I've heard some say it's anti-US sentiment for the war and other say it is a statement about the immigration bill (a whole other stupid idea worthy of ridicule). Whatever the reason- wake up America, they, the world, don't like us. It's not because of our freedom or liberty. It's because of our arrogance, aggression and indifference. They don't like us because we care more and understand more about Rosie and Elisabeth than Darfur, the Middle East or Global Warming.

So here is what I would like to say to the US today- If you have TB, stay off the plane. If you're drunk, don't drive. If you're the President- act smarter than a 5th grader. If you're a democrat grow a backbone. If you're a republican find a more relevant topic than abortion or evolution- If you can't think of one- ask a 5th grader. If your a pediphile please draw attention to yourself by falling off a cruise ship. If you know a struggling mom, please reach out to them before they do something worthy of the 5 o'clock news. If you know a whale- tell them to steer clear of rivers. And finally would somebody get Ashley Judd a towel and take away Brittany's, Lindsay's, Nicole's and Paris's keys, or better yet, just take Them away!

How's your relationship with your fax machine?

2007-05-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

To be honest, my relationship with my fax machine is strained. We aren't getting along at all. I think the problem may be that my fax machine just came into my life without me really having a say in the matter. It wasn't my fault; someone at the corporate office set us up and well, let's just say it went from there. I should have known at the beginning that not really participating in my relationship was going to yield rough waters in the future.

To be perfectly honest, my fax machine is high maintenance. He really has a simple existence- I only bother him at the very most once a week. It's always a short lived encounter so as to not be too taxing on him. Even so, he demands 4 ink cartridges to do a black and white job. He's not a color fax, yet I have to supply him with black, magenta, yellow and blue. I don't know why he thinks he needs all that ink, but none the less, I shell out the $60 to give him everything he asks for. It's never enough. He doesn't like the way I installed the ink or he doesn't like the way I closed his cover or he doesn't like the amount of paper he has. It's just impossible to make him happy.

Then there is the communication piece. He is constantly telling me what I did wrong, yet he won't tell me how I can fix it. I retrace my steps, trying to figure out what in the world is the problem, but I just can't. Maybe he feels like I'm not trying hard enough or paying enough attention to him. I just don't know.

Finally, should I do something satisfactory, he goes on this diatribe of cleaning and aligning and cleaning and aligning. It goes on forever. Eventually he may or may not come around to whatever we were doing in the first place, but by that time, I'm just so exhausted I can't finish it and I don't care.

I don't feel like any of this is my fault, yet I can't let go. I guess I need him and I don't have any other options. So, for now at least, I'm just stuck. I've resigned myself to reading his manual and crying at his paper tray, hoping something will work out for us.

To Scroll or not to Scroll......

2007-05-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

Actually it should be to see the Dead Sea Scrolls or not? With only a week left I thought I would put my plug in for this extraordinary exhibit. Hats off to Union Station, for a fabulous job!! If you haven't been to see them, the time is short.

For anyone unfamiliar with the Dead Sea Scrolls, they are 2000+ year old documents found in the caves along the Dead Sea around a site called Qumran. They are the oldest manuscripts ever found. Previously, the record went to a manuscript dating to 900 CE, which the scrolls have userpted by over 1100 years. In the caves around Qumran there were found over 900 Scrolls, most were fragmented, including every book of the Hebrew Bible, except Ester. The majority were sectarian writings including commentaries on scripture, community rules and one that speaks of buried treasure.

The exhibit is an extensive display of the archaeology of Qumran, the culture during Second Temple times (515 BCE- 70CE), as well as 6 original scrolls. For me it was the scrolls where the name of God was clearly visible (as displayed and explained on the banner beside the light box) that were heart stirring. The name of God was not spoken- it was too sacred to be uttered, and when I looked at the scroll I could feel the emotion and reverence at that moment of pause where the most ecclesiastical name was honored in silence. To me anyone who has ever observed their spiritual heritage should take a couple of hours to peek behind the curtain, to a time over 2 millenniums ago, when the beginning of constant celibacy and estheticism took hold in the desert around Jerusalem.

If you don't count yourself among the afore mentioned type, go see the scrolls anyway. They are a miracle of science. Preserved for ages in the dry, arid caves, undisturbed until our time. Some fragments are so small, that scientists have gone to DNA testing of the parchment to identify fragments from the same scroll. Those responsible for the scrolls broke with tradition and used a 364 day calendar. They channeled the rare and endangered waters of the desert into their community pools for ritual bathing and survival- an amazing feat of engineering. It is truly a remarkable story of a people's passion and existence.

Kudos to Union Station for bringing this wonderful piece of antiquity to Kansas City and into a building worthy of historical recognition on it's own. Go see the scrolls and let the words and lives of ancient ancestors speak thru the remarkable relics and writings they left hidden- hidden until the last century- hidden until our time.

Finally...the birds!!

2007-04-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I felt a bit cheated by spring this year. My garden is barely recovering. I'm still worried some of my roses aren't going to make it. There won't be any berries on the flowering crabapple- all the blooms were lost within one day of full bloom (right- the day before the frost). There is no sign of life from the butterfly bushes or the hyndrangea which was coming in so well before the late freeze. This week however, the true signs of spring showed up in my yard.

The Indigo Bunting returned to my finch feeder (left- thru the window and the blind- they are jumpier than the other birds, so no really good pixs). Last year was the first year I'd ever seen one, much less have one visit my feeder. They only stay for about a week, before going to nest. But I'm so thankful for the brief stop at my avian cafe en route. If you've never seen one, they are the most beautiful shade of blue. You just can't believe the color. It was a surprise to learn that they actually have black feathers, but the diffraction of light through the structure of the feathers makes them appear blue. They are an optical illusion so to speak :)

I decided it was time to put up the Oriole feeder. Last year the Orioles came to the feeder all season long. They have changed their habits, nesting closer to neighborhoods and visiting feeders all summer long, unlike a few years ago when their feeder visits were brief like those of the Indigo Bunting. Maybe the Indigo will someday change it's habits as well, allowing us to enjoy them all summer long.- at least that's what Mark at the bird store keeps telling me.

It's not all good, because of the changing environment, it's estimated that the goldfinches will someday no longer stay in Missouri during the summers (below, thru the window and blinds again, female and male) . Some report this happening as soon as within the next 10 years. They would still winter here, but if we want to enjoy their bright, sun drenched plumage, we will have to go to the northern boarder.

As for now however, I'm happy to report that within hours of putting up my feeders I spied the first Hummingbird of the year. Wooooo Hooooo!! No Orioles yet, but I can hear them so they are near. They usually preceed the Hummers. The only thing missing is the house wrens. They arrived this weekend last year- again within hours of putting up the wren house. I'm sure that any day now, I'll be awakened by the song that starts my mornings all summer long. By July, I will be hoping that the male wren would get a clock that shuts off for the weekend, and then I will remind myself it's a sign of summer and it will be all too short lived.

I'm just so excited- warm weather, beautiful gardens, contact with the neighbors and open windows- it's all finally here!! However you welcome in the sun- may this year be the best yet!

The front garden before the late freeze.

The price of advice is going up!!

2007-04-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

It use to be said some advice and a quarter would buy you a cup of coffee........

Now I am not a coffee drinker. I've tried, but I just don't like it- unless it has enough Bailey's in it I forget there's some java in there too. With enough cream and sugar I can get to the point where I can choke it down, but I just really don't like coffee. That is not true for just about everyone else I know. Use to be you drank coffee to stay awake or to wake up- not true anymore-Coffee is hip. Oh not just any coffee, it has to be a designer coffee of sorts. It must come from a pretty much coffee only place. Usually one with a few comfy chairs, some trendy music and people on laptops. It also has trendy terms, even the size of the cup is a trendy slang. Can someone explain what about 'tall, grande, vinti, solo, doppio' etc. tells me anything about what I am about to order? What happened to 'a cup of coffee' or even small, medium and large? It's no longer trendy to call whipcream, whipcream- no it's just whip now. I gues you use up all your energy trying to decipher the size terms, you just don't have anything left to get out that final word- 'cream'. Oh and did I mention?- it must cost you at least as much as a fast food lunch. Perhaps they are charging by the calorie?

So finally, you've passed the test of being cultured enough to get out the uninformative, made up names and communicated your order. You've cut back on saving for the kids college education to finance your beverage and you've violated your privacy rule by telling the cashier and coffee dude or dudette your name. Whewww!!!! Now you wait patiently, recovering your strength, at the counter while the magic of coffee making goes on. Five minutes later, five minutes of your life you will never get back I might add, here it comes. It's in a prestine whitish cup with it's own little, thin, not very big, not very attractive, brown cardboard hugee and a lid that doesn't close so you can spill it on your way to a dirty table when you taste it and it burns your mouth. By the way, I'm sure the tables aren't clean because making coffee is too important and too time consuming to be interrupted by replicating disease in the biological film on the tables. My other question is if the coffee is so hot you have to have a huggee or it will burn your hand, are you sure it's meant for internal consumption? Anyway, at the table not only will you find someone else's cups, coffee rings and stained newspapers, but you won't find and internet connection despite the sign on the door. I don't know what all those other people are staring at on their laptop screens, but for me- no connection. Maybe it knows that I don't drink coffee and hence not part of the cult, err I mean culture?

So, if some advice and a quarter can still buy you a cup of coffee, then the price of advice has increased 50+ fold over the last few years. Either I'm getting smarter or coffee drinkers are getting dumber.............